One of the first practical challenges after separation is working out
when the children will be with each parent. A good custody schedule
gives children stability and both parents clarity.
This guide will help you understand your options and create a schedule
that works for your family.
What Makes a Good Custody Schedule?
A good schedule:
-
Prioritises the children's needs
— not the parents' convenience
-
Provides consistency
— children know where they'll be and when
-
Maintains relationships
— children have meaningful time with both parents
-
Is practical
— works with school, activities, and work schedules
-
Has room for flexibility
— life doesn't always follow the plan
Common Custody Arrangements
50/50 Shared Custody
Children spend equal time with both parents. Common patterns:
-
Week on/week off:
Children spend one full week with each parent
-
2-2-3:
Mon-Tue with Parent A, Wed-Thu with Parent B, Fri-Sun
alternates
-
3-4-4-3: 3
days, 4 days, then swap
Best for: Parents who live close to each other and
can both be actively involved.
60/40 Split
One parent has slightly more time. For example:
-
Weekdays with Parent A, weekends with Parent B
-
5 days with Parent A, 2 days with Parent B, plus shared
holidays
Best for: When one parent works longer hours or lives
further from school.
Primary Residence with Visitation
Children live primarily with one parent and visit the other. For
example:
-
Every other weekend (Friday evening to Sunday evening)
-
One midweek overnight
-
Half of school holidays
Best for: When parents live far apart, or one parent
has limited availability.
Age-Appropriate Considerations
Babies and Toddlers (0-3)
-
Shorter, more frequent time with each parent works better
-
Avoid long separations from primary attachment figure
-
Consistency in routines is crucial
-
Consider building up to overnights gradually
Preschoolers (3-5)
-
Can handle longer stays but still benefit from frequency
-
2-3 nights in a row is usually manageable
-
Visual calendars help them understand the schedule
Primary School (6-11)
-
Can handle week-on/week-off arrangements
-
School schedule becomes a key factor
-
Activities and friendships start to influence preferences
Teenagers (12+)
-
Their preferences matter more (courts consider them)
-
Social life, activities, and independence are priorities
-
May resist rigid schedules
-
Flexibility becomes more important
Handling Holidays and Special Days
Holidays often cause conflict. Plan ahead for:
School Holidays
-
Split them 50/50, or take turns (Mum gets half-term, Dad gets
Easter)
-
Agree on dates well in advance for holiday planning
Christmas
Options:
-
Alternate years (Dad has Christmas Day in even years)
-
Split the day (Christmas Eve + morning with one, afternoon +
Boxing Day with other)
-
Celebrate twice (each household has their own Christmas)
Birthdays
-
Children's birthdays:
Consider sharing the day, or alternating
-
Parents' birthdays:
Often the children are with that parent
Mother's Day / Father's Day
Simple rule: Children are with Mum on Mother's Day, Dad on Father's
Day.
Practical Tips
Handover Logistics
-
Pick a consistent time and place
-
School pickups work well (avoids direct contact)
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Keep handovers brief and positive
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Have a bag of essentials that travels between homes
When Plans Need to Change
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Give as much notice as possible
-
Propose an alternative when asking to swap
-
Be willing to reciprocate flexibility
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Keep a record of changes
Making It Work
-
Use a shared calendar both parents can see
-
Review the schedule periodically — children's needs
change
-
Put the schedule in writing
-
Focus on what works for the children, not "winning" time
What If You Can't Agree?
If you and your co-parent can't reach agreement:
-
Mediation: A
neutral mediator helps you find common ground
-
Solicitor negotiation:
Lawyers communicate on your behalf
-
Family court:
A judge decides (Child Arrangements Order)
Important to Know
Court should be a last resort. It's expensive, stressful, and takes
control out of your hands. Most families are better off reaching their
own agreement.
Make Co-Parenting Easier with CoParent
Shared custody calendar that both parents can see and edit. Schedule
changes, swaps, and handovers — all in one place. Start free today.
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